Wow! Yeah, right.

Amazing.

That's the only word that can describe the feeling that I had more than a decade ago when I realized that people were lining up in front of Best Buy to purchase the newly released Windows 95.

Twelve years later I find myself wondering if these same people are standing outside once again anxiously awaiting the latest operating system release from Redmond.

If they are, then they are probably not going to feel the same crush of excitement as midnight approaches because the lines will be much shorter this time around. Despite much fanfare from the folks at Microsoft, the vast majority of people that I know are quite ambivalent about tomorrow's release.

Certainly none of them are going to wait in line at midnight just to be the first uber-geek to take the new OS for a spin. In fact, most of my friends have already been beta testing Vista for several months.

Without a doubt, society has evolved from novice computer users to savvy technofiends who are so technically advanced that a new operating system has become as exciting as turning on a light switch.

I think that there are several reasons for this change in attitude. First of all, our society has more important things to worry about. The world was a much simpler place back in 1995. The Internet era was still in its infancy and Google wasn't even a gleam in the eyes of Sergey Brin or Larry Page. In those days, a high speed Internet connection was a 56k modem.

Now, you can purchase Vista on-line and download the operating system directly to your computer. There simply isn't any reason for uber-geeks to stand outside in the frigid Wisconsin winter.

I think that the primary reason for this change, however, is that society has become so overloaded with technology that a new operating system is not really all that exciting. Granted, Windows Vista appears to contain a wonderful user interface and some fairly solid functionality, but on the whole it doesn't really do that much more for the average computer user than Windows XP.

Almost everyone I know is more excited with advances in cool technology such as the iPhone, the Blackjack, the Wii, and the iPod. In fact, many of my friends have recently gone to the dark side and jumped on the Apple bandwagon.

A new Microsoft operating system just doesn't have the excietment that it used to have. The changes that accompany Vist are revolutionary in some respects, but they just aren't as jaw dropping as when we moved from Windows 3.1 to Windows 95.

As I've just seen on the news, there is a small group of stalwarts standing outside waiting for midnight. I commend those hearty souls for braving the frigid Wisconsin winter, but this time around I'm even more amazed that anyone would stand in line at midnight just to buy a new operating system.

Sorry Microsoft. There just isn't a Wow factor this time around.

Amazing.

A Novel Idea

Move over Stephen King, technology has made your legendary writing skills obsolete.

Finnish author Hannu Luntiala recently published a 332 page novel that consists of nothing but text messages. At first glance, I was appalled that someone would publish a novel of text messages. Call me old fashioned, but writing, storytelling and grammar matter to me.

However, upon reflection, I believe that there is definitely a place for this type of book in the literary world. Instead of thinking of the traditional novel, this edgy and fresh type of story is basically a technology based diary.

While I would never want to see the breathtaking skills of someone like Stephen King or John Grisham replaced by a text message novel, I do believe that there is a place for both on my bookshelf.

Sports Mirror Technology

Watching the NFL playoffs this weekend, I was struck by the similarity between sports and technology.

All sports fans have favorite teams, and very rarely do those allegiances ever change. Packer fans are usually Packer fans for life, and as such they generally despise rivals such as the Vikings and the Bears.

The same rivalries can be seen in technology. For example, Linux fanatics often eschew Windows with the same vigor as Packer fans lamenting the Bears’ recent Super Bowl berth. Fans of Windows, however, view Linux as an operating system aberration in much the same manner as the Bears getting to the Super Bowl.

The impending release of Windows Vista will present another similarity between sports and technology. Windows XP, currently the most widely used personal computer operating system, will soon be derided as legacy technology and be relegated to clearance shelves and the history books.

As the New England Patriots recently found out, today’s darling can quickly become tomorrow’s goat. With new technology being developed on an almost daily basis, the world of technology is full of gadgets and gear whose gotta-have-it lifespan lasted mere weeks.

In sports and technology, dynasties are rarely built. The Packers suffered through 30 years of misery before resurrecting themselves for a ten year run of success. It’s nearly impossible for teams at the top to stay there permanently. It just doesn’t happen.

While the business world does have it’s perennial winners such as Microsoft and Intel, one only has to look as far as IBM to see that the technology world is chock full of organizations that were put out of business or gobbled up by their competitors.

If sports can be considered ultra-competitive, the cut-throat business world of technology run by uber-geeks and highly paid CEOs could make even a frightening linebacker like Brian Urlacher run for the hills with his tail between his legs.

As we watch the Super Bowl and cheer for our favorite team while jeering their opponent, just remember that before long both teams may be as popular as a Pentium 3 or an iPod-mini.

Fractals Show Math is Beautiful

Math is art, or so some people say. Personally, I'd rather put pen to paper than solve for the elusive x.

However, even algebraphobics like myself can appreciate the breathtaking beauty of the images that can be created using the mathematical functions provided by a free fractal generator such as Apophysis.

Fractals are images that are created using various mathematical coordinates and formulas. Although it takes quite a bit of practice to design gorgeous fractals such as those found in this TechRepublic gallery, just about anyone can learn how to create their own beautiful fractal images.

Artists looking to expand their repertoire and uber-geeks with no artistic ability will all appreciate the relative ease with which you can create amazing images that can be used in a variety of ways.

I use fractals on my computer desktop, but have been tempted to print and frame some of the ones that I've seen or created. They are that good, in my humble opinion.

Atari Flashback Family Time

Happy New Year!!!

Those of us who grew up in the 1980s have fond memories of first generation video game consoles such as the classic Atari 2600.

These gaming consoles lacked the slick graphics and adrennaline pumping game scenarios as modern video games, but they were fun to play and provided our families with hours of fun.

And therein lies the big difference between today's modern video games and those classics such as Asteroids or Breakout. The Atari 2600 console games were easy enough to play that virtually anyone could pick up a controller and share in the fun.

Hours of practice and exceptional coordination were not prerequisites for the Atari 2600.

Since most households at that time had only one or two TVs, playing the video game was a family activity. The days of the gaming pro were still a generation away. At that time, games were simply a fun activity for everyone.

Proof of this is shown in the continued popularity of those old Atari games. This morning my eight year old daughter found my wife's Atari Flashback console. We hooked it up and in less than ten minutes we were having a serious Breakout battle.

A little while later her teenage sister and cousin showed up, and within a few minutes they began trying to beat the eight year old at Breakout and Air-Sea Battle. They eventually eclipsed her in Breakout, but two hours later she is still the undisputed Air-Sea Battle champion.

With a modern gaming console, this type of family interraction would be rare. The games require too much practice and knowledge to become proficient. Young children have no hope of mastering these games, and adults just don't have enough time.

Since classic consoles such as the Atari Flashback cost less than a single game for a modern console, buying a classic gaming console will provide hours of fun without putting much of a dent in your pocketbook.

While I would never argue that the Atari 2600 is a better console than an Xbox or PlayStation 3, I believe that the older games are a better family activity than any modern game.

Give one a try. Your family will be glad that you did.

Gift Card Conundrum

Technology has given us the ability to sling a plastic card at someone and avoid the time consuming and sometimes arduous task of Christmas shopping. How sad.

Like most people, I enjoy receiving gift cards because they allow me to buy the "gift" that I want. Under certain circumstances, however, I believe that giving and receiving actual gifts provides more pleasant holiday memories than an impersonal piece of plastic.

Call me old fashioned, but when I look under the tree on Christmas morning, I don't want to see a collection of envelopes staring back at me. I want my pictures to show a large collection of nicely wrapped presents with colorful bows and ribbons.

When buying for close friends or family members, I believe that you should take the time to determine what the person wants and then go buy it for them. Under these circumstances, buying a gift card is just lazy shopping.

Despite my partial disdain for gift cards, they have become a wildly popular gift. According to a recent study by the Tower Group, gift card sales for the 2006 holiday season are expected to eclipse $80 billion. This is a 20 percent increase over 2005 holiday sales.

This year, my son asked for an iPod. After a visit to the Apple store to determine which model he wanted, my wife and I decided to skip the gift card and buy the iPod so that he could have the excitement of opening the package on Christmas.

Even though he knew what was underneath the wrapping paper, my son was quite excited when he opened the package and saw the iPod. We were able to open the box right away and spent quite a bit of time fawning over the sleek new device.

Had my wife and I took the easy way out and just purchased a gift card, Christmas day wouldn't have been the same. We would have all missed out on the memories of spending the time ooh-ing and ahh-ing over his new geeky gadget.

I think that gift cards are quite useful when shopping for people that you don't know very well or who don't live close to you.

To make the holiday season truly memorable for yourself and those you love, take the time to visit the mall or your favorite on-line retailers so that your Christmas tree is surrounded with packages.

If you do, I'm certain that the memories of opening gifts on Christmas day will be ones that you treasure for a lifetime.

E-Quran an Odd Step for Intel

Intel recently stated that they are partnering with two Saudi Arabian software companies to develop a device, called the E-Quran, which will do little more than play a recorded version of the Islamic holy book.

While I am glad to hear than an electronic version of the Quran is being created, I wonder why semiconductor titan Intel is making this foray into the world of dedicated portable devices. It seems to me that a professionally designed podcast or audio file that could be played on a variety of platforms would be a more efficient means of distributing the holy book.

With companies such as Microsoft trying to grab market share in the lucrative mp3 player market, a dedicated device like the E-Quran seems like a step backwards towards the ill-fated e-book phenomenon that never materialized.

Computer users and uber-geeks quickly realized that reading an electronic document is much cheaper if you use a device that you already own, such as a computer.

The same can be said for an audio recording. Mp3 players abound, and in the already crowded field a dedicated device that plays one collection of files seems incredibly outdated.

Intel should have partnered with Apple, or another mp3 player manufacturer, to distribute their devices and then made available a recorded version of the Quran that could be played on any platform.

Snow Robot

This weekend folks in the Midwest received our first measurable snowfall of the season. In Milwaukee we have about 10 inches on the ground, which has brought back memories of when I was younger and we actually had this much snow on a regular basis.

For some reason, my ancient relic decided to take the day off after teasing me a few weeks earlier when it's throaty roar filled my garage. After reliving my youth by wielding a shovel to clear my 160 feet of sidewalk, I began to wonder if there was an easier way to get rid of the snow.

I've been looking at robot vacuum cleaners recently, and while I sat on my couch waiting for the Advil to kick in I started wondering if someone had engineered a robotic snow blower. I Googled a number of search terms, but couldn't find anything resembling a robotic snow removal machine.

Starting at just $149, The iRobot corporation has designed an impressive collection of home and industrial robots that clean carpets and floors. Helpful, but not exactly what I had in mind.

Insipired by visions of R2-D2 and Rosey on the Jetsons, I began wondering why nobody has attempted to design a robotic snow removal device. Certain issues such as temperature, water, and traction crossed my mind, but none of these obstacles seemed to be difficult to overcome.

While I may be in the minority at this point, I'm hoping that others may begin talking about a snow removal robot. I'm sure that this type of device will be readily accepted in most areas where regular snowfall is possible.

I would be willing to pony up a few hundred of my hard earned dollars for one if it would prevent snow shoveling flashbacks from becoming recent memories once again.

Red Monday

Is there a better way to work off the Thanksgiving binge than by purging your pocketbook in a cafeine induced shopping frenzy? It appears there is.

For those of you who haven't heard of this new retail savior, Cyber Monday is the first Monday after the Thanksgiving holiday weekend when employees return to work and their employer's high-speed Internet connections.

On that magical shopping day, retailers will be offering discounts and sales on their Web sites that eclipse even those unbeatable deals that consumers gobble up on Black Friday. It's a virtual shoppers paradise.

While shoppers are filling up their virtual shopping cart, employers are wringing their hands and delcaring the day Red Monday.

Although Red Monday lacks the sheer exhilaration of running from store to store on Black Friday, avoiding the company proxy server and other corporate shackles can provide a small surge of adrenaline for even the most addicted work-surfer.

Despite their productivity losses, employers should take heart because Red Monday will provide them with the most motivated staff they will ever have.

PS3 and the New Alpha Uber-Geek

Grab your blankets and long johns. It’s time to relive the glory days of your youth and camp out to wait for tick…er…um…your chance at a shiny new Play Station 3.

According to Sony, 400,000 lucky souls will win the game console lottery on Friday and be able to wrap their frozen fingers around a shiny new console. What they do with their geeky prize is a matter of genetics and breeding.

The old school alpha uber-geek will take their new Play Station 3 home and feed their caffeine fueled gaming addiction until they conquer or collapse. They will, of course, assert their dominance in the species by inviting all of their wannabe uber-geek friends to join in the frenzy and drool over the new console.

But an amazing thing has happened since the arrival of the Xbox 360 a year ago.

The alpha uber-geek has evolved, and their superior intelligence has lead the more advanced members of the species to realize that there is more to life than having the coolest toys. There is money to be made!

This new form of alpha uber-geek has realized that capitalism is good.

Those who resist the temptation to tear through the shrink wrap and instead use their trembling fingers to launch an eBay auction will reap bigger rewards than those who give in to their addiction.

The profits made by feeding on the weakness of others can be used to fuel a need more primitive to the new alpha uber-geek than having the latest gadgets.

The newly evolved multi-dimensional alpha uber-geek prides themselves on their cerebral achievements, not just technological wizardry.

While not having the latest gaming console may wound the alpha uber-geek’s pride, they will smile broadly knowing that they have asserted their dominance by using their new found intelligence to distance themselves from the weaker members of the species.

Internet TV Following Porn's Business Model

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. At least that's what Internet TV company LX.TV Lifestyle Television believes as it turns to the Internet for their movie distribution platform.

To be successful, LX.TV must follow a proven business model for distributing content via the Internet.

Moral issues aside, the porn industry's business model has a proven track record that some experts claim rivals Hollywood. The industry has used the Internet for years to build a reputed $12.6 billion in annual profits.

From a business standpoint, following the porn industry's example makes perfect sense.

People of all ages are quickly turning to the Internet for their multimedia needs. Porn Web sites and other multimedia related sites, such as YouTube.com, illustrate how on-line television style content can generate substantial profits.

Computers are a staple in many modern home theater systems and provide TV connectivity and other movie related functions that used to be provided by a variety of other devices.

It's plain to see that the computer is quickly replacing standard TV equipment as it becomes an integral part of our entertainment gear.

That being said, it's obvious that in order to succeed in a modern industry an emerging company such as LX.TV should follow a proven business model as it leads the charge towards content produced soley for the Internet.

Despite moral objections to the content, one thing that almost everyone agree on is that the porn industry is very successful.

Although the content will sometimes be less offensive, the same production and delivery systems can be employed by Internet based TV companies to build their business. It's a proven method that should be followed.

Applications to Go

If you can remember when the Apple IIe was all the rage, then you probably remember carrying around all of those floppy disks stuffed with your applications. Instead of installing your apps on the system, you simply carried them with you from computer to computer. Ah, the good old days.

If you long for those days, then you'll be happy to hear that this concept has returned. No, you won't have to lug a box of unfloppy disks around with you everywhere you go. However, for certain applications you may have a jump drive or two in your pocket.

I've thought about this concept for awhile and think that in certain situations it has merit. Running an application off of a jump drive is faster than using a hard drive, and the portability factor makes this idea logical.

Vonage agrees. The Internet phone company has recently released a jump drive pre-loaded with software that will turn any PC or laptop into an Internet phone. Unlike Skype, no software installation is required.

To use the Vonage V-Phone, simply plug the drive into a USB port, plug the earpiece microphone into the side of the V-Phone, and launch the application. Voila, you're computer is now a telephone. Slick.

I believe that this is the beginning of a trend where specialized applications will be stored on jump drives. The portability and ease of use are advantages that vendors will exploit once they realize how useful this concept can be.

Retinal Scan Voting

In less than 24 hours I will wield a dull number 2 pencil and hopefully make sweeping changes throughout our government.

Despite amazing changes in technology in the 20 years since I cast my first ballot, the pencil still remains the weapon of choice for voters in Wisconsin. In that same timeframe Microsoft has released more versions of Windows than we have had presidents.

If Microsoft had advanced at the same pace as voting technology, uber-geeks would still play silly pager games and the mouse, the Start menu and the USB port would be considered cutting edge.

But alas, technology has finally gotten to the point where we can reliably use it for elections. Biometric scanners could provide a nearly foolproof method for ensuring that one-person-one-vote becomes reality.

Fingerprint recognition or retinal scans may sound like something from a sci-fi movie, but they are being used safely and reliably in a wide variety of applications that require high security.

Could these methods be circumvented? Sure, everything has the potential for infiltration and fraud. But I think that we’d be fairly safe until someone figures out how to borrow somebody’s fingerprints or retinal patterns.

Impractical? I don’t think so. These same technologies could be used by the state motor vehicle departments to help eliminate fraudulent drivers licenses, state ID cards and a host of other identification related issues.

Building the database of biometric data could be a stumbling block, but not one that is impossible to overcome. A little ingenuity could provide a variety of methods for collecting the information and ensuring that nobody is disenfranchised.

In a time where leadership is so important, it’s time for someone to step to the head of the line and present a bold initiative like this to ensure that our elections will no longer be as reliable as a candidates campaign slogan.

The time has come to retire the pencil and embrace the retinal scan.

The Evolution of the Uber-geek

In just three generations we have seen the world go from analog to digital as the uber-geek species has evolved. By Darwinian standards, the evolution of the uber-geek has been rapid.

One indication that you are in the presence of a member of this new species is their compulsive need to sport the latest technology in visible locations on their body.

One has to wonder if this is an inbred trait of the species to determine the alpha uber-geek. Examining the evolotion of the uber-geek species will show us how the alpha uber-geek asserts their superiority.

Late in the twentieth century man invented the pager. All of the uber-geeks had one, and if you didn't you just weren't hip. It's amazing how much envy a small vibrating black box can generate. At this point in time, however, the alpha uber-geek was difficult to find.

Soon after came the portable phone. When you could find a signal, which was difficult in those days, you instantly became the alpha uber-geek as you carried on a conversation using the bulky walkie-talkie size device while walking through the mall.

Next came the Batman belt that let uber-geeks show off their pager, cell phone, PDA, and other assorted gadgets. Although rare these days, with a little patience you can still have an occasional sighting. Whenever I see one I wonder if the wannabe super hero is trying to compensate for his failure at becoming the alpha uber-geek.

Thank goodness for convergence. Those with several devices pulling their pants down are now considered dinosaurs. Today's uber-geeks are all about one tiny device that does it all. Size does matter, it seems, especially those who want to be the alpha uber-geek.

The latest fad for the alpha uber-geek wannabe appears to be wearing clunky wireless earpieces for the cell phone. There is little doubt that they are handy, but they remind me of an episode of Star Trek that I've been trying to forget for most of my adult life.

Since size is apparently such an issue these days, I'm surprised that the earpieces are so large. Perhaps uber-geeks need big things that they can show off if the actual tool is a tiny device that's hidden in their pocket.

The evolution of the uber-geek has been enjoyable to watch. Their need for the latest technology has driven the industry to new heights as uber-geeks clambered for more advanced technology in their pursuit of becoming the alpha uber-geek.

Unfortunately, this has led to a plethora of wannabe alpha uber-geeks who have adopted the show-off-your-technology trait. But, true to form, the true alpha uber-geek has evolved and become a more covert member of the species.

Nowadays, the true alpha uber-geek has the self-confidence to keep their technology under wraps until it's time to whip it out and show off their skills. With advanced knowledge arcane features of every technological device known to man, the alpha uber-geek quickly asserts their superiority and everyone in the area knows that they are in the presence of a superior being.

Say it Ain't So

Computer manufacturers and video game companies are rejoicing with the recent decision to start banning activities such as tag and dodgeball from gradeschool playgrounds in Maine. With all of that free time on their hands, kids are going to be clamboring for the only thing left for them to play: video games.

With obesity being recognized as a national epidemic, the absurdity of banning childhood games that encourage physical activity is obvious. Restricted to only those activities that reduce libability, the only exercise that children will get during the school day will be with their hands on a keyboard or game controller.

Thankfully, interactive gaming makes it possible for children to play with each other on the playground. The only difference is that they will use laptops and handheld video game systems to play their games. Let the calorie burning begin.

Instead of scraping knees and elbows, children will soon be suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome and "Blackberry thumb." The bean counters at the insurance companies must be warming up their adding machines to calculate all of the money they'll be saving.

Santa and the elves are definitely not happy with the timing of this decision. Children are quickly revising their lists, which is wreaking havoc with the acquisition of gifts and the weight distribution in the sleigh. At least the elves will get some exercise this year.

Computers and video games are wonderful things. I love using them as much as anyone else. Using them for enjoyment, however, should not preclude regular physical activity. It's just not healthy.

A fifth grader using WebMD and a little common sense can figure out that the risks of obesity far outweigh the danger of a few scrapes and bruises. It's too bad that the adults making this decision can't do the same.

Pass on Technology Skills

This afternoon I was at a school function with my wife and daughter. As we were walking down the hall I noticed one of the kids using a cell phone to text message someone. What surprised me is that she was only in the third grade.

I suppose that a child of 8 or 9 using a cell phone shouldn't surprise me. After all, I started teaching my youngest daughter how to use the computer when she was three.

But seeing a child that young using a cell phone better than many adults made me take a moment to think wonder if teaching young children how to use the available technology in the world today is a positive thing for our society.

Children nowadays have an amazing array of technological gadgets at their disposal. When I was about 8 or 9, I can remember spending hours in front of my friends TV playing the video game Pong. That was the most amazing thing that we'd ever seen at that point in our young lives.

Today, children think that many of the following gadgets or technologies are as common as fire or the wheel:

• Cell Phone
• Portable DVD player and TV in cars
• iPod
• Xbox or PlayStation
• Play Station Portable (PSP)
• Wireless networking
• Digital cameras (what's film?)
• Laptop computers

Even a technology buff like me can sometimes feel as though I'm struggling to keep up with my teenage children. Technology has infested our society, and in most cases I think that it's a good thing.

While seeing a young child text messaging someone on a cell phone surprised me, I believe that teaching children how to use technology is important. In the case of the child I saw this afternoon, she could use her cell phone to get a ride or call someone if she is in trouble.

I'm not alone in this opinion. Firefly Mobile provides stripped down cell phones for children. Although the plans are not the most economical, I think that this company provides a good indication of how technology can be put to good use.

Can technology be overused, especially by children? Sure. Like everything else, too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. But overall, I believe that teaching our children how to use technology is a very important part of their education.

It's October 12 and Milwaukee had its first snowfall of the season today. Personally, I like seeing the snow fly early. No, I don't enjoy the cold or look forward to firing up the snow blower.

I'm happy because now the Christmas ads don't seem so out of place in 70s and sun. And now that I'm starting to get into the holiday season, it's time to start thinking about what I want for Christmas.

Thanks to Microsoft and the delays with Windows Vista, one thing that I can put right at the top of my list is a shining new PC. Yes, you read that right. I'm happy that Windows Vista is delayed until January. Actually, I'm thrilled with the timing of this delay.

No, I don't wish Uncle Bill or Microsoft any ill will. In fact, this year I'd like to send them a great big thank you card. So should you.

This holiday season computer prices for new systems will drop drastically as retailers try to get rid of their stock of XP systems in order to make room for new Vista laden machines in January. This means that we should all be able to get some fantastic deals on a new computer system this year. I, for one, can't wait!

So, as we make our list and check it twice, here are the things that we should ask Santa and the elves to install in the new computer that's under the tree on Christmas morning.

• A lightning fast 3 GHz processor
• At least 1 GB of RAM
• A DirectX 9 video adapter that supports WDDM, has at least 128 MB of RAM, pixel shader 2.0 and 32 bits per pixel

Happy computing!