The Evolution of the Uber-geek

In just three generations we have seen the world go from analog to digital as the uber-geek species has evolved. By Darwinian standards, the evolution of the uber-geek has been rapid.

One indication that you are in the presence of a member of this new species is their compulsive need to sport the latest technology in visible locations on their body.

One has to wonder if this is an inbred trait of the species to determine the alpha uber-geek. Examining the evolotion of the uber-geek species will show us how the alpha uber-geek asserts their superiority.

Late in the twentieth century man invented the pager. All of the uber-geeks had one, and if you didn't you just weren't hip. It's amazing how much envy a small vibrating black box can generate. At this point in time, however, the alpha uber-geek was difficult to find.

Soon after came the portable phone. When you could find a signal, which was difficult in those days, you instantly became the alpha uber-geek as you carried on a conversation using the bulky walkie-talkie size device while walking through the mall.

Next came the Batman belt that let uber-geeks show off their pager, cell phone, PDA, and other assorted gadgets. Although rare these days, with a little patience you can still have an occasional sighting. Whenever I see one I wonder if the wannabe super hero is trying to compensate for his failure at becoming the alpha uber-geek.

Thank goodness for convergence. Those with several devices pulling their pants down are now considered dinosaurs. Today's uber-geeks are all about one tiny device that does it all. Size does matter, it seems, especially those who want to be the alpha uber-geek.

The latest fad for the alpha uber-geek wannabe appears to be wearing clunky wireless earpieces for the cell phone. There is little doubt that they are handy, but they remind me of an episode of Star Trek that I've been trying to forget for most of my adult life.

Since size is apparently such an issue these days, I'm surprised that the earpieces are so large. Perhaps uber-geeks need big things that they can show off if the actual tool is a tiny device that's hidden in their pocket.

The evolution of the uber-geek has been enjoyable to watch. Their need for the latest technology has driven the industry to new heights as uber-geeks clambered for more advanced technology in their pursuit of becoming the alpha uber-geek.

Unfortunately, this has led to a plethora of wannabe alpha uber-geeks who have adopted the show-off-your-technology trait. But, true to form, the true alpha uber-geek has evolved and become a more covert member of the species.

Nowadays, the true alpha uber-geek has the self-confidence to keep their technology under wraps until it's time to whip it out and show off their skills. With advanced knowledge arcane features of every technological device known to man, the alpha uber-geek quickly asserts their superiority and everyone in the area knows that they are in the presence of a superior being.

Say it Ain't So

Computer manufacturers and video game companies are rejoicing with the recent decision to start banning activities such as tag and dodgeball from gradeschool playgrounds in Maine. With all of that free time on their hands, kids are going to be clamboring for the only thing left for them to play: video games.

With obesity being recognized as a national epidemic, the absurdity of banning childhood games that encourage physical activity is obvious. Restricted to only those activities that reduce libability, the only exercise that children will get during the school day will be with their hands on a keyboard or game controller.

Thankfully, interactive gaming makes it possible for children to play with each other on the playground. The only difference is that they will use laptops and handheld video game systems to play their games. Let the calorie burning begin.

Instead of scraping knees and elbows, children will soon be suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome and "Blackberry thumb." The bean counters at the insurance companies must be warming up their adding machines to calculate all of the money they'll be saving.

Santa and the elves are definitely not happy with the timing of this decision. Children are quickly revising their lists, which is wreaking havoc with the acquisition of gifts and the weight distribution in the sleigh. At least the elves will get some exercise this year.

Computers and video games are wonderful things. I love using them as much as anyone else. Using them for enjoyment, however, should not preclude regular physical activity. It's just not healthy.

A fifth grader using WebMD and a little common sense can figure out that the risks of obesity far outweigh the danger of a few scrapes and bruises. It's too bad that the adults making this decision can't do the same.

Pass on Technology Skills

This afternoon I was at a school function with my wife and daughter. As we were walking down the hall I noticed one of the kids using a cell phone to text message someone. What surprised me is that she was only in the third grade.

I suppose that a child of 8 or 9 using a cell phone shouldn't surprise me. After all, I started teaching my youngest daughter how to use the computer when she was three.

But seeing a child that young using a cell phone better than many adults made me take a moment to think wonder if teaching young children how to use the available technology in the world today is a positive thing for our society.

Children nowadays have an amazing array of technological gadgets at their disposal. When I was about 8 or 9, I can remember spending hours in front of my friends TV playing the video game Pong. That was the most amazing thing that we'd ever seen at that point in our young lives.

Today, children think that many of the following gadgets or technologies are as common as fire or the wheel:

• Cell Phone
• Portable DVD player and TV in cars
• iPod
• Xbox or PlayStation
• Play Station Portable (PSP)
• Wireless networking
• Digital cameras (what's film?)
• Laptop computers

Even a technology buff like me can sometimes feel as though I'm struggling to keep up with my teenage children. Technology has infested our society, and in most cases I think that it's a good thing.

While seeing a young child text messaging someone on a cell phone surprised me, I believe that teaching children how to use technology is important. In the case of the child I saw this afternoon, she could use her cell phone to get a ride or call someone if she is in trouble.

I'm not alone in this opinion. Firefly Mobile provides stripped down cell phones for children. Although the plans are not the most economical, I think that this company provides a good indication of how technology can be put to good use.

Can technology be overused, especially by children? Sure. Like everything else, too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. But overall, I believe that teaching our children how to use technology is a very important part of their education.

It's October 12 and Milwaukee had its first snowfall of the season today. Personally, I like seeing the snow fly early. No, I don't enjoy the cold or look forward to firing up the snow blower.

I'm happy because now the Christmas ads don't seem so out of place in 70s and sun. And now that I'm starting to get into the holiday season, it's time to start thinking about what I want for Christmas.

Thanks to Microsoft and the delays with Windows Vista, one thing that I can put right at the top of my list is a shining new PC. Yes, you read that right. I'm happy that Windows Vista is delayed until January. Actually, I'm thrilled with the timing of this delay.

No, I don't wish Uncle Bill or Microsoft any ill will. In fact, this year I'd like to send them a great big thank you card. So should you.

This holiday season computer prices for new systems will drop drastically as retailers try to get rid of their stock of XP systems in order to make room for new Vista laden machines in January. This means that we should all be able to get some fantastic deals on a new computer system this year. I, for one, can't wait!

So, as we make our list and check it twice, here are the things that we should ask Santa and the elves to install in the new computer that's under the tree on Christmas morning.

• A lightning fast 3 GHz processor
• At least 1 GB of RAM
• A DirectX 9 video adapter that supports WDDM, has at least 128 MB of RAM, pixel shader 2.0 and 32 bits per pixel

Happy computing!